Why Submissives Have The Power?

Learn why dominants are not the ones in charge, its the submissive that has the true power in BDSM dynamics.

The Submissive Is In Control #

Despite the role of a dominant being in control, the real control comes from the submissive. When things feel weird or something hurts too much, one word makes everything stop. Dominants must respect these boundaries and limits, this means at any point the submissive has control to stop what is happening if they feel the need to. Do not be afraid to speak up as a submissive, a good Dom will always appreciate your communication if you hold your tongue small issues become big and no Dom worth their salt wants that.

Consent & Control #

In the United States, consent can be removed retroactively at any point (*state laws may vary). If you push a submissive beyond their limits, and they say no and ignore their concerns, that is no longer BDSM. It is rape. To protect the submissive and yourself, the rule that submissives are always in control is a steadfast principle that is not to be forgotten. If the Submissive (or Dom even) wants the scene to stop, then it must stop.

Balancing Control #

Finding the balance is key, you want the submissive to have a voice in which they can express issues, while still giving the stern feeling of being dominated. As a Dom, it falls on you to manage both of these aspects when with a partner to keep things safe.